In addition to launching this business, Travis and I just recently got engaged (Yup. We’re making as many big, scary life decisions as we can in 2018, because sanity is overrated). Because so many of our clients are smack in the middle of the same process, we thought we would share our experience as we navigate the many conversations and decisions that go hand-in-hand with planning a wedding, an elopement, a commitment ceremony (really whatever celebration we decide to have—we still haven’t made up our minds).
We’ve noticed in the few conversations we’ve had that it is easy to lose track of what we think we want versus everyone else’s expectations. Even as our loved ones are encouraging us to “do what we want” we have still felt that pressure. We’ll go into more detail about how we’re dealing with this pressure in a follow-up blog post, but for starters, we have decided to slow down the process, take a deep breath and try to be intentional as we reflect on how we both envision this part of our journey together. Key phrase there is part of our journey together. The one thing we keep reminding ourselves is that the way we decide to celebrate our commitment to each other will be just a blip in the vast number of ways, big and small, that we show our commitment to each other throughout our life together. Keeping this in mind has helped us to stay centered in our conversations (and let’s be honest, not verbally rip each others’ heads off).
When it comes to our celebration, Travis and I have made very few decisions. One day recently, we took a walk (at most 20 minutes), and by the end of that walk, we had seriously considered an elopement, a small destination wedding with just immediate family, and a big Colorado shindig with all the bells and whistles, and traditions that come with it. I don’t think we actually narrowed it down at all. As you can probably imagine, I was the one doing most of the talking, and Travis was doing most of the listening, but understanding soul that he is, at the end of it all, he grabbed me in a hug (probably to stop my wild gesticulations) and simply said “Whatever we decide, it will be wonderful.” Wonderful. Not perfect. Not our “dream wedding”. Just wonderful. Whatever we decide. I felt the pressure ease just a bit because wonderful is something I can live with.
You may already know EXACTLY what kind of wedding you want — my amazing and extremely organized friend, Lindsay, pretty much single-handedly planned her wedding in a year, while holding down a demanding full-time job in finance, in New York no less, without seemingly breaking a sweat. She had a clear vision of what she wanted her day to look like. It was beautiful and elegant and a complete reflection of her and her now-husband. And when it comes down to it, that to me is the most important part of a celebration like this — that it reflects our values, our personalities, and the life and love we’ve built together.
So, these next couple of posts will follow us as we weigh the pros and cons of each option and with that we will hopefully whittle down the list. Luckily, there are a few things we have decided on:
Our top priority for our celebration is bringing our immediate families together and actually spending quality time with them.
I was born and grew up on the East Coast. Most of my family is pretty geographically spread out (Colorado, Tennessee, New York and Maine), so having my entire family in one place doesn’t happen too often, and there are few opportunities when we can all get together. Travis was born, raised and lives here in Colorado — as does all of his immediate family. So we want to make it easy and enjoyable for all of us to be together and actually spend some real face time with everyone—not running around trying to sort through last minute details or sticking to a minute-by-minute schedule. At the end of the day, our family members are the most important people in our lives — they have shaped us into who we are, and have continually supported and rooted us on as we’ve grown in our relationship and started this business.
We don’t want to spend huge amounts of money.
Everyone has their own definition of what “a lot” of money is, and we won’t get into specifics, but just like every other decision surrounding a celebration of this kind, your budget is a deeply personal choice. We have decided that a smaller wedding both in size and in budget aligns with our most important priority for this gathering (bringing our loved ones together and spending quality time with them all—see point #1) and for our life priorities which includes saving for a house, traveling outside of the US together (which we’ve never done), and finally adding a pooch to our little family.
Our one non-negotiable: we both agreed there has to be great music and a lot of dancing.
In addition to Travis being a musician and a lover of live music, when I was a little girl, I was always dancing and making up routines by myself and with my friends. I LIVED for parties and weddings where I could bust out my routines (much to the exasperation of my parents and their friends). When, after we got engaged, Travis turned to me and said “We need to make up a dance routine for our first dance,” quickly followed by “Can we have two first dances?” I knew beyond a doubt that he was the man I needed to spend the rest of my life with…and that we need killer music and wicked dance moves however we decide to celebrate.
So with those guidelines in hand, we will be soldiering forward to plan the celebration, maybe not of our dreams, but something pretty damn wonderful.